What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 25.06.2025 04:23
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
Who was the guy that had sex with the AIDS monkey?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
Who then, do I blame.?
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
Sunday Night Baseball Parlay, Picks, Predictions for Yankees vs Red Sox - Action Network
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
Steelers Address Mason Rudolph Trump Rally Appearance In Email To Fans - TMZ
Comes on , in middle age.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
I couldn’t, believe it.
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
I write beautiful poetry .
Some men love anal sex more than vaginal sex. Why?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
XRP Forecast: Pundit Predicts Where XRP Could Be Headed by June - The Crypto Basic
I think the readers, may guess!
I was 9 years of age.
Would this be the day?
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
I waited trembling.
I could never make a relationship work though!
How do you handle your mother-in-law after you heard her talking badly about you in the next room?
Was to survive, this bastard.
She found it foreign!.
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
Live Updates From Apple WWDC 2025 🔴 - Gizmodo
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
Im dying but, im not bitter.
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
So whats the point in blame.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
Steven Spielberg will introduce a ‘Jaws’ 50th anniversary special - CNN
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
Ive learnt so much.
She wouldn,t have been !
How can a person develop advanced brain power?
It was going to be , some day.
I had hoped to write a book about this .
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
Is Max Verstappen unstoppable this season?
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
Why did i forgive my father ?
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
The Y chromosome is disappearing, and this fact is already causing problems for men - Earth.com
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
Put me off passion for life!!
And i lived it daily.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
But, we were locked up after school.
Especially a lifetime of it.
All the time i was locked up.
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
This is soul school!.
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
But it wasn’t much.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
As i do to all so called friends.?
She married twice! .
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.
He was dying to do it , i knew.
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
I don,t even have a pension.
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
She was in good health!
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
I was scared of men, in general
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
My life is so biszare .
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
And who doesn’t know suffering?
My mum and dad in the seventies!
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
She loved him until the end.
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I know ,a lot about trauma.
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
My family never makes their pension either.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
They are buried together, in the same grave..
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
We all went to grammer schools
One cannot live in the past .
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
(And it was in our own minds.)
I said to her
Where the ultimate outsiders.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
I was seconnd youngest,
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
So, i spoilt her more .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
He knew the spot.
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
What did i know ?
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Im still living with it.
On the 31st of Jan this month .
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
I will be 64.
We were not on the streets..
I was very sick at this time too.
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
When she asked me how she looked .
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
I never cut or harmed myself..
I have no regrets .